Girls are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for the good ones, because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Today I said to an ex of mine that love is something you fight for. In that instant, however, I realised that I've been fighting for the wrong ones and I have settled for less than what I deserve several times. And the fight was focused on me not losing hope or keeping myself in a state of denial. It is time for me to move on.
In the past few months, two exes have apologised for what they did to me. I would like to think that I'm open in a relationship and easy to talk to, but maybe I am not. One actually said that he felt like he wasn't good enough for me and that my family disapproved of him, which was not true. My reply was: "Why didn't you talk to me about it?" He couldn't answer the question. I left that relationship feeling like a rotten apple and my choice in men thereafter reflected that. For years I felt like I was the problem when I treated them with nothing but respect and love. In my mind, being a rotten apple, was the way into someone's heart. This prison I have been living in for quite a while now was my own doing. I refuse to truly let people in, because the rejection at a later stage is painful and my heart could only take so much. I get jealous when I see how happy other people are. I realise now, more than ever, that I need to find my happy place and start walking the path to self acceptance. Change what I can with hard work lying ahead, but also adopt a new outlook on life when it comes to things I can't change.
Oh, and I need to start smiling more too. So I'll start with this one :)
