Open

Unbutton your clothes
Undress your soul, show them your vigor
Are those inhibitions easiest to fear?

Seems like the easiest thing in the world to let each piece of clothing drop to the floor, exposing your flesh. Metaphorically speaking, it is not really that easy. To reveal your insecurities and vulnerabilities to someone takes a lot of courage and inner strength. I want to open up to someone in that way. Quietly observing, I look at the world around me and the people I encounter and I feel a very obvious void in my life. I can try and articulate what this emptiness entails, but I don't think I am able to at this stage. I know too little about myself and who I am or I am just afraid to try. I don't understand how I can be at odds with myself like this. At least I can say I have truly loved a man and I did it with my entire being. I told him how I felt, but I don't think he ever truly got it.

They say that if you let something go and it doesn't come back to you it never really was yours to begin with. In the movie, Practical Magic, Sandra Bullock draws up a list of requirements for the perfect man. Eventually, their paths cross even though she thought she'd never find him. I want to be able to drop my clothes to the floor and feel safe with that man in that particular moment. No judgement, no fear. I want a man who shares my love for music. I want him to send me a song he came across somewhere. I want him to beside himself with excitement. I want him to share the song with me. I want to dance close to him for hours. I want him to kiss me and make my skin feel weak. I want to laugh when we share silly moments. I want him to hold me when I feel sad, which I do often. I want to reveal who I am to him.