One sentence

A lot was left unspoken, because you wanted to leave.

Stars on the ground

An impromptu trip led to a wave of change inside of me. I was invited to spend a weekend on a farm high up in the Soutpansberg in Louis Trichardt. We arrived at La Roche (French for The Rock) as the sun began to set. I was looking up at a night sky unfamiliar to me, one filled with millions of stars and a clearly visible milky way. I spent a half an hour lying on the patio looking at this scene and I thought about my favourite painting of all time, Vincent van Gogh's Starry Night, and at that moment I knew that this is what he must have seen or experienced when he painted that beautiful piece of art. Swirls of light indicating the milky way and glowing spheres of gas in the sky.

The simplicity of life on the farm was an eye opener to me. We were by no means isolated or devoid of some of the conveniences of modern life such as electricity or running water, but it was definitely an experience of note. Michel's dad moved from Belgium to South Africa when he was 30. I was fascinated by the exchanges in French between Michel and his dad.

Arriving in Pretoria, I realised that the lights of the city resemble stars, stars on the ground. The lights in the sky up north was replaced by the twinkling lights of the city with its air of decadence and temptation.

Thinkative Media

I took a risk and gained a lot of insight and knowledge from the experience. I created two logos featuring two completely different styles in the past two months. The plan has always been to start my own web design or development business at some stage and I began this journey almost 9 years ago. I've always shown an interest in art and enrolled at Tuks to study Information Design, otherwise known as Graphic Design. Not quite what I expected it to be as I wanted to do more computer graphics and so I decided to change my degree. Multimedia was the perfect mesh of the technology and artistic creativity. However, I'm still not sure whether it imposes boundaries or limits on what one can do or allows one to reach a creativity level that is almost infinite. I'm hoping to find that out as time goes by and I look forward to each challenge with a renewed sense of self, enthusiasm, and a passion for art I have repressed for a very long time. Since switching to Multimedia I have changed my degree yet again a few years ago and I'm planning to finish my Information Science degree in the coming years, but I will continue to follow my dream.

I found an interesting quote on the web the other day when I was wallowing in self pity: Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. My journey starts now. The year 2010 is the time for a new beginning, it marks the birth of Thinkative Media.

Negative thoughts

Staind fits my mood tonight. The hard, anguish filled lyrics seem to resonate with what I'm feeling on the inside. The fact that I sometimes sit in silence, but on the inside I'm livid and mad and angry and frustrated. Thoughts roam inside my head and it makes me want to stand up and start trashing the room. Satisfying shatters and smashes. Hitting and breaking everything in my path until the anger slowly dissipates and leaves my body in a loud whoosh. Almost like a deflating balloon.

Sometimes I spend time with people who make me feel alive and energetic. Their enthusiasm for what they do on a daily basis inspire me. I want to bottle these moments and when the negative ideas start to pile up again, I want to pop off the cap and inhale and let the energy infuse my being and dispel the dark, cloudy ones in my mind. And you are always on my mind, but I wonder if I'm on yours most of the time.